Thursday, July 07, 2011

life's looking up...

Heck, Casey Anthony is free. The weather is in the 90's with high humidity. My boss's mother-in-law was found dead in her chair at the nursing home by her daughter. And my poison ivy hasn't gone away yet.

So, I will stop complaining. Life with him is moving along in the right direction. He's kind and loving and affectionate and transparent (I hope). I have attempted to slow the desire to spend my every waking moment outside of work with him. Why? Because when I am away from him nasty thoughts infiltrate my mind and body and I feel hurt and angry. Oh yes, that is normal but I don't want it. It does nothing positive.

So I have been forcing myself to spend some alone time with myself so that I can heal the wounds and not just hide from the pain in the comfort of his arms. I want to enjoy my time with him and it has been a little rough at times. Last Saturday night I had a meltdown and he didn't know what to do. I just sobbed and he felt so guilty he just wanted to run away and hide. I didn't let him and he put aside his guilt and discomfort and eased my suffering.

He's trying...that's all I can say.

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