Wednesday, July 13, 2011

the end is near

I know the last time I thought this my world crumbled. I am thinking it again only this time my world won't crash. Things are going well with us.  That does not mean that this reconnection is easy. It is anything but. But I have hope and he has hope. We have more than hope; we have confidence. So I am going to turn my energies toward healing and moving forward.

It is time for a new blog or new venture. This blog has served me well.

Oh, what about therapy? It shall continue with some SE touch work. Dr. B and I agree that maybe now I will be able to do this without the painful consequences. Remember way back when?

Thursday, July 07, 2011

life's looking up...

Heck, Casey Anthony is free. The weather is in the 90's with high humidity. My boss's mother-in-law was found dead in her chair at the nursing home by her daughter. And my poison ivy hasn't gone away yet.

So, I will stop complaining. Life with him is moving along in the right direction. He's kind and loving and affectionate and transparent (I hope). I have attempted to slow the desire to spend my every waking moment outside of work with him. Why? Because when I am away from him nasty thoughts infiltrate my mind and body and I feel hurt and angry. Oh yes, that is normal but I don't want it. It does nothing positive.

So I have been forcing myself to spend some alone time with myself so that I can heal the wounds and not just hide from the pain in the comfort of his arms. I want to enjoy my time with him and it has been a little rough at times. Last Saturday night I had a meltdown and he didn't know what to do. I just sobbed and he felt so guilty he just wanted to run away and hide. I didn't let him and he put aside his guilt and discomfort and eased my suffering.

He's trying...that's all I can say.