Monday, June 27, 2011

favorable outlook

Okay, so we spent a -- hmmm...how to describe our weekend together. It was intimate (and it didn't involve sex); it was emotional, it was healing, it was gentle, it was, at times, normal, it was slow and quiet. And most definitely it was loving.

And exhausting, and a roller coaster of emotions for me when we were apart. I still cannot reconcile what happened between us. I listen to him; I feel him. He's filled with sorrow and remorse and hurt over his life, especially the last seven years or so. He wants to bury his head in a project and not deal with the uncomfortable emotions that erupt. But that doesn't work anymore and he doesn't quite get it. I encourage him to embrace his feelings, accept them, and allow himself the time and space to heal them. For two decades I watched him distract himself from his emotions with work. He is trying. It is exhausting.

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